The title of this post would seem a lot cooler if I had titled my first article about the Pope visiting Britain as ‘Popewatch.’ Alas, I didn’t, and this post title is consequently less awesome. But I digress.
Yes, the Pope is coming to visit Britain this month. This would be totally fine if it weren’t for the fact that we’re all paying for it! No, the old ladies who go to church and make biscuits for the priest because they’ve got jack shit better to do aren’t footing the bill, we are. And I think that’s a pretty bad deal. I’m not going to see the Pope because, despite being baptised Catholic, I’ve come to my senses and realised that what the Catholic Church teaches is, contrary to what they say, morally wrong. For that reason, I propose that, to appease the people who don’t really care about the Pope, the British government pays for someone totally badass to visit the UK. Hugh Hefner, maybe.